Chapter 1 — Jordan



Two weeks before Christmas, Saturday morning



“YOU WANT to—what?” Jack shouted, evidently more stunned than angry.

I sighed, praying for patience. When caught off guard, my little brother had such a flair for the dramatic. “I don’t get why you’re so surprised. I’ve been engaged to Sebastian for ages, and we’ve been together years. Why shouldn’t we—”

“But, Jordan, why two days before Christmas?” Jack whined.

I kept up my mellow attitude as best I could in the face of my little brother’s juvenile behavior. “Look, Jack. I know you’ve got a soft spot for the holidays, for quieting that time of the year after all the noise in our lives, but surely our little get-together isn’t going to ruin your whole vacation?” When Jack pouted, I went for the jugular. “Of course, if you just want to chill out and not attend, that’s fine too. Being a paramedic is tough. No hard feelings.”

Jack started growling. “That had better be a joke, buddy.”

Deciding to try being emotionally provocative, I argued, “I spend every day of my life putting you and our makeshift family first, Jack. All I’m asking for in return is one lousy day out of your busy schedule to….”

Looking mortally wounded, Jack pouted some more and crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re such an ass. Of course I’ll be there.”

I smiled, thankful for the reprieve. “Good, ’cause I’ve been meaning to ask you to stand by my side as my best man.”

Jack’s eyes widened in obvious shock. Then his jaw started to quiver. “R-really…? You want me to be…?”

I grinned. “Abso-fucking-lutely. You’re my only brother. I love you, you knucklehead. Who else would I ask?”

“I don’t know. Um, Kevin?”

“He said to ask you first when I told him—”

“You talked to Kev about your plans before me?” Jack’s eyes flashed intensely.

I fear I may have rolled my eyes. “It’s not a race. And let’s face it, Jack. Kevin can be way more levelheaded about some things than you.”

I knew that was a mistake the moment the words left my mouth.

Jack was positively miffed and definitely hurt. “Then I’m sure Kev’s coolness will be of great help to you on your big day with him as your best man.”

Jack stormed off, banging the loft’s metal door closed loudly as he went.

Raking a hand through my hair—I’d have to remember to touch up the lilac streaks in the platinum blond before the wedding—I slumped.

I understood Jack’s position and vitriol. Our blended family unit had taken time, effort, and a whole lot of love to form. All of us had issues with our birth families, and being together was tough sometimes. Jack especially felt awfully threatened by other people usurping his position. That made the typically laid-back, easygoing guy a nervous wreck. In this, Jack and I were opposites: when I was calm, Jack wasn’t, and vice versa. When I had been at my lowest point, Jack had saved me from myself. He’d been a rock for me that day.

Of course, when it came to Kevin Thompson, my partner in the Financial Crimes and Fraud unit of the Metropolitan Police Department of the District of Columbia, Jack’s feelings of being left out were ridiculous. Of all the people on the planet, no one would have sacrificed more than Kevin to make Jack happy. They were an item, after all.

I felt a touch on my shoulder, and without looking I knew who it was. Sebastian stared up at me with those baby blues of his, smiling openly in a way that always made my heart and belly flutter with happiness. Being giddy had been a new experience for me, but with Sebastian I felt that way every single day.

“How did it go?” Sebastian asked, his soft, hollow voice the result of his deafness.

“As you might expect. Jack threw a temper tantrum when I let on I’d spoken to Kevin before him about—”

“You’re such a motormouth,” Sebastian teased. I chuckled. That was the last thing I was—except in my busy, busy head, where too many thoughts rambled on every second of every day. I took the needling in stride. “Why did you let it slip at all?” Sebastian’s wonderment was a portrait of innocence. I was pretty sure half of it was fake.

I pursed my lips in a self-mocking gesture. “Damn if I know. I should remember by now how insecure Jack can get about some things. I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”

“He’ll come around.” Sebastian burrowed against my chest, and his glossy black hair tickled my face as we embraced. The scent of his spicy new shampoo filled my nostrils. “He’s gonna try to argue with Kevin, and Kevin’s going to be all composed and quiet. Once Jack has huffed and puffed enough, Kevin will take him to bed, and they’ll have hot make-up sex.”

“Eww.” I cringed, pulling back so Sebastian could read my lips. “Did you have to give me that visual of my kid brother? Thank you very much.”

Sebastian laughed with that curious hiccupy sound I had fallen in love with from day one. “Shut up, Grumpy.”

I gathered Sebastian close again and kissed the top of his pert nose. “At least I’m not Dopey.”

“Hmm. That depends.”

“Huh? On what?”

“On whether or not you have the brains to take me to bed sooner rather than—”

Sebastian let out an undignified yelp when I crouched enough to lift him onto my shoulder in a fireman’s carry.

Then I headed toward our bedroom upstairs in the loft with the purposeful stride of a man on a mission.

And all the way there, Sebastian giggled his head off.



I DROPPED Sebastian on the bed. He was still laughing in that hollow voice of his. I grinned. My Sebastian was so beautiful, so positive and upbeat, so full of life. I couldn’t imagine my life without him in it.

As Sebastian maneuvered himself to lean against the metal frame of the headboard, I knelt between his legs, unbuttoned his jeans, yanked the zipper down, and slowly pulled the pants off him. Sebastian’s chuckles turned to heavy breathing, and his cheeks, neck, and chest took on the ruddy color of arousal.

My lover was such a mix of opposites. His glossy black hair in contrast to the pure whiteness of his shiny skin, his twinkling baby blue eyes juxtaposed with the his full, red lips, the strength of his muscles belying his slender frame.

He was all mine, and I worshipped him.

No joke.

“Gonna do you slowly, baby,” I signed. I had big hands, scarred from my rough life before Sebastian. I lacked the elegant grace he showed when he signed with his long, slim fingers, but he loved me doing it, and I loved him so….

Whimpering, Sebastian nodded. “Whatever you want, love.”

I took off his T-shirt and his underwear, leaving him naked on the bedspread. The luster of his skin, the bright light in his eyes, the wet red lips, the shimmying of his hips—all of it beckoned me to devour him and yet idolize him. I knew I wanted to drag this out, to make every moment we spent together last.

I started with his fingers. I brought his right hand up, close to my mouth. I breathed in his scent and brushed over the soft texture with my lips, the contact making my lips tingle. Sebastian shivered. God, I wanted him so bad. I licked around his digits before engulfing them in my mouth, sucking on them softly. Sebastian moaned, and I watched, rapt, as his eyes closed and he licked his lips. The ecstasy of being loved depicted in his expression made me feel ten feet tall.

Sebastian tasted like cookies. He’d been to the cookie jar again. That, mixed with his natural flavor, and I was about to pop in my pants.

“Been stealing cookies again, I see,” I murmured teasingly against his hand. Frowning, Sebastian opened his eyes, having obviously felt me speak. I repeated what I had said, and watched a new kind of blush creep up his cheeks.

“If you didn’t want to lose any, maybe you should lock them away,” Sebastian replied with a pout, his full lower lip protruding deliciously. I had to suck on it, so I leaned down and did just that, nipping and licking it too. Sebastian moaned and opened his mouth more so I could sweep in and steal his breath away.

As I laid my big, muscular frame down on top of his lean, lithe one, I delved into his mouth. Long, languid kisses were our specialty, and with a slow grinding of our bodies and our cocks pressed against each other, I made love to Sebastian.

As I moved from his lips to his neck, I murmured, “I love the smell of your skin. Your taste, mmm, it drives me crazy.” I knew Sebastian couldn’t hear me, but I also knew he didn’t mind me saying things to his skin while we made love.

And even if he couldn’t hear, the strangest thing was I always thought I heard sounds, like distant silvery bells, their light and ticklish music caressing my skin, emanating from his soul, which I had the privilege to hold against me as firmly as his body. It was by no means a cheesy porn track. Those soft notes floated around us, tingling like a touch.

Sometimes I thought it was his breath at my ear that created the music.

“Mmm, yes, tell me how much you love me, Jordan,” Sebastian urged me, his tone pleading as he arched his back and tilted his head to give himself fully to me. I loved how he yielded to me, how completely he let himself go.

“Anything you wish, babe.” I licked and kissed my way over to his arms, then back to his neck, and then down his chest. I flicked his pink nipples with my tongue, the peaks hardening even more and growing hotter. And all the time, I kept whispering endearments and compliments of adoration to his skin.

I laid my frame over his more tightly, our nakedness touching in the most intimate way. The feel of his whole body beneath me, nude and pliant and writhing, sent my senses reeling and my cock into overdrive. Grinding was the best. His strong arms wound around my shoulders, his fingers digging into the muscles of my back. Blindly, I groped all his lines and curves. Like caged animals, his powerful muscles shifted underneath his silvery skin.

“You’re so beautiful,” I muttered, in heat.

I nuzzled his neck and licked toward his exposed armpit. He had some black hairs there, and his natural zest was strong, mixed with fresh sweat. I kissed him, and Sebastian giggled and wiggled. “Tickles.”

I grinned and then groaned when Sebastian’s hands glided down my back, tracing every moving joint, muscle, and bone. Then he reached the dip at the small of my back, and he slid slowly to my round ass cheeks, grabbing and squeezing them hard enough to leave marks. Moaning loudly, I bucked against him, our cocks sliding next to each other, both slippery with precum.

I yanked one of his arms from my backside, kissed the length of it, relishing in the velvety smoothness of his skin, the tiny hairs there tickling me. I interlaced our fingers and went on kissing him.

Then he cupped the back of my neck, took a fierce grip of my hair, and pulled me down for a scorching kiss, deep, with tongues, teeth, lips, every part for our mutual delight. Until I had to draw breath or pass out, I didn’t pull back. When I did, I rubbed my face and hair against his chest. I rutted against him, never wanting the moment to end. It was sweet torment to be denied climax, to just stay locked together in an embrace, not tight enough to get either of us off.

This was my fantasy, my dream come true. This I held on to; this I desired forever.

“Gotta taste you, babe,” I whispered and dipped lower.

His belly quivered under my hands as I gently kissed my way to the dark nest of pubes around his cock. I sucked up marks on his pale skin, feeling possessive. No one would see these but me, but I could see them whenever I wanted, and know he was all mine.

His erection lay heavy on his lower belly, twitching. I saw the pulse thrumming in the veins there. I licked all over the shaft, getting it good and wet. Sebastian moaned, his body jumping under my ministrations. I traced every inch with my tongue, laving all over. When I sucked on his balls, his fingers threaded through my hair.

“Oh God, yes,” he cried out. I saw his head thrashing about on the pillow and his back arching up off the bed. My debauched little angel.

I caressed his stomach, chest, and neck with my hand, up and down. He grabbed my wrist, but tenderly. I let him feel me touch him without haste. Our movements together were deliberately slow, a familiarity of presence, a newness of sensation every time.

I took the head of his cock in my mouth, circling my tongue around the crown and then dipping into the slit. Sebastian’s hands tightened in my hair, and he let out a hoarse cry with his hollow voice. I devoted myself to the task ahead, sucking him in more with every downward motion until I felt him nudge the back of my throat. I relaxed and took him in, swishing saliva around for that hot, wet bath he liked, then swallowing so he could feel the constriction of my throat working. I caressed his thighs and flanks with my hands.

“Please, Jordan. Gimme.” I heard from Sebastian’s tone that he was close.

I abandoned his cock, the tip ruddy and silky, glistening with my spit and his precum, and his groan of disapproval made me chuckle. I looked up and found him glaring at me. “Wanna come in my mouth? Anything you want,” I signed.

His glum expression dissipated, like a cloud clearing from in front of the sun, and his smile broke out. “Wanna come with you inside me. Want you to fuck me.” Sebastian was only ever crass when lovemaking, and mostly while signing. He had a teenage brother to worry about, and Sebastian wanted to set an example. I loved him for it.

“You sure?” I asked even as I dove for the nightstand drawer and dug out the well-used tube of lube.

Sebastian chuckled. “Yes. C’mon, Jordan. I’m dying here. Want your cum in my ass.”

I made quick progress with prepping him. I pushed two fingers inside and made circles with them to coat his channel liberally. Soon his body begged me to enter him as he shoved his ass back at my intrusion. I coated my cock with lube—we’d discarded condoms a long time ago—and pressed the head against his twitching pucker. There was only minor resistance. His body knew what to expect—the pain, pressure, and burn morphing into pleasure—so with relative ease, I was able to push in, inch by inch, until I was buried balls-deep in loving flesh.

“God, Sebastian, how much I love you.” Not used to such declarations with my previous lovers, I nonetheless didn’t hesitate or censor my words. It was the truth, after all.

“I love you too, Jordan,” Sebastian murmured, his eyes closed. God only knew how he’d felt I’d spoken. It was his special kind of magic, I believed.

I pulled out leisurely, and then thrust in hard, all the way to the hilt. Sebastian’s cries turned louder as I reamed him good, and I felt a grin damn near split my face with happiness.

To me, Sebastian equaled bliss. I suppose that was why I was marrying him.