Humor books

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I’m Jude Parks, writer of gay romances. Even though I’m good at what I do, the irony is that I haven’t exactly been lucky in love. My friend Jeannie says it's because I settle for Mr. Right Now instead of holding out for Mr. Forever. I say I’d rather regret what I have done than what I haven’t.

I only came to Romantic Voyages, the biggest romance convention in the country, for business. Yet in no time I got mixed up with a gorgeous cover model, weeping artists, drag queens, and crazy housewives—and became the prime suspect in a murder investigation. Well, they say any press is good press.

Maybe I should've stayed home. But then I never would’ve met Tommy Smith, the craziest, most outrageous, silly, sexy man I've ever known—a man who makes me wonder if it may be worth holding out for Mr. Forever. A man who might turn my rotten luck around. But only if we survive the weekend and I clear my name….

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Pop Goes the Weasel

Pop Goes the Weasel and Rat Bastard

Patrick Weasley, aka Weasel, is a fun-loving college student with a wealthy homophobic jerk stepfather and a best friend, Jake Winston, who’s just as gay as Weasel. When Jake’s aunt dies, many from the publishing world—including Jasper, Weasel’s weasel of a stepfather—gather at Winston Manor for the reading of the will, and Weasel is obligated to tag along.

Turns out all he has to do is three things: 1) swap the wills so Jake’s uncle inherits the house instead of the gardener, who's also an old enemy of Weasel's; 2) secure a publishing contract from author Cecily Talbot; and 3) hook Jake up with his deceased aunt’s male nurse. But what he ends up doing is 1) falling for Tony, one of the food servers; 2) accidentally affiancing himself to Cecily; and 3) fighting with Jake, who thinks he was making a play for the nurse.

To make matters worse, every time Weasel and Tony start to get intimate, Jasper is right around the corner. So when burglars come to steal a valuable piece of art, Weasel must 1) use all his ingenuity to keep the painting safe; 2) dis-engage himself from Cecily; 3) unite Jake with the nurse; and most importantly, 4) pursue Tony to an elusive happy ending.

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SuburbaNights

SubSurdity Series | Book Three

Sequel to Suburbilicious
SubSurdity: Book Three

On Jasper Lane, Cassie Bloom is gearing up for Halloween; Becky is expecting, and her father is overbearing and paranoid; Rick and James are their usual happy selves, though James has developed a porn obsession; Terrence is putting together an all drag cheer squad; and David is helping Cliff transition from adult film star to bodybuilder. Of course, that’s just what’s going on at the surface. This is suburbia, and its underbelly is teeming with secrets.

Like what’s up with that rather odd family that moved in down the street—the family with the big cross in the front yard who look nothing alike. Like where Cassie’s son, Jason, has disappeared to and why he hasn’t called. Like what on Earth Nanna Hench is doing with a scooter, a megaphone, and a clown car full of religious zealots.

When Cliff suddenly disappears, Jasper Lane goes on high alert. Terrence posts fliers, and Rick and James scour the gym. David is determined to get his husband back, but when he goes missing too—and with Cassie and Melinda on a road trip to find Jason—it’s up to Terrence to solve the mystery and save the day.

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Double Flip

Double Flip and Quadruple Flip

Gymnast Ben Thornton is beginning to accept his sexuality, but in the charged atmosphere of the London Olympics, sex is easier to find than the love he seeks. Ben is so desperate to recapture something he felt long ago that he’s too blind to see the man he shared it with is looking for the very same thing, hiding in the shadows with the love notes he’s too afraid to send.

Then a gossipmonger threatens to distribute a sex tape Ben didn't even know existed. Feeling betrayed, he considers leaving the games, afraid for the team’s morale. As his friends rally around him, Ben discovers they don’t always make good lovers—but a lover you know like your best friend is the best kind.

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For years, Ally Theodisius has suspected his “friends” have been humoring him to stay in his good graces—and his wallet—so when a No Pants Day breakfast ends in his humiliation, he finally takes a stand.

When model Bennie Arnold runs into Ally, his first impression is of a cute, adorably dimpled writer in dire need of a real friend. Bennie would be happy to fill the role. There’s just one little problem: he’s going commando, and it happens to be No Pants Day. If he has any hope of getting his wish, Bennie will have to use his best assets to convince Ally he’s the real deal.

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The first time Henry Hughes and Cameron Jameson meet, it’s an unmitigated disaster. Cameron reminds Henry of all he left behind when he stopped making adult films, and he cruelly rejects Cameron. When Cameron discovers Henry’s porno-thespian past, he assumes he’s dodged a bullet.

But circumstances continue to throw the two together. Though the physical attraction between them grows, they cling to first impressions, even as a slow dance reveals just how good they could be.

Henry finally realizes how wrong he was, but Cameron can’t cope with “sleeping with the enemy.” It will take a confrontation for Cameron to realize just how wrong he’s been, but unfortunately, he may have lost his chance.

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Bookstore owner Randy Stone is smitten. His new boyfriend, Kyle Temple, is sweet, hot, attentive, and great in bed. But introducing Kyle to his family takes courage, because Randy’s parents can be a little judgmental, and Kyle is ten years younger than Randy, a small-time pro wrestler, and dumber than the proverbial sack of hammers. Needless to say, Randy’s parents aren’t exactly thrilled, and even his best friend is skeptical.

Despite the challenges, Randy is determined to tough it out for Kyle. After all, enduring a few scornful comments from his mother is nothing compared to what Kyle’s going through trying to quit smoking for Randy. When a hypnotherapy session designed to help with Kyle's cravings leaves him quoting Jesus Christ—in Aramaic—Randy’s parents are suddenly the least of their problems. Once word gets out, their privacy is destroyed. News crews follow them everywhere, and everyone who knows Kyle seems determined to make a buck. It’s a mess that could make Kyle’s dreams of wrestling in the UWE come true—but what about his dream of being with Randy?

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Twenty-two-year-old barman Nathan is always the odd one out. It's tough to get a date when his love of loud music, tattoos, and zombie paraphernalia usually sends potential candidates running for the hills. Trying to find anyone who wants to spend time with him, let alone stay in and watch trashy horror movies, has always been a problem.

Then, on his day off, Nathan does a friend a favor by covering a shift at a pub, and in walks a handsome stranger who shares his love of horror. It could be a match made in B-movie heaven, and Nathan is determined to pursue this new acquaintance, but—zombies aside—has Nathan got the guts to go on a real date?

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Theater major Erik Waite hasn’t acted in almost a year, and money is tight. So when his friend Michelle offers him a role in her new boyfriend’s musical, Erik accepts, even though it sounds rather dicey. The rehearsals are pure chaos, but Eric is delighted to learn that his high school crush, Phillip, will be playing the lead.  Unfortunately, Phillip’s controlling mother is playing his romantic interest, and she isn’t about to let anyone get too close to her son – especially when it appears Phillip may return Erik’s interest.  It will take a plan of epic proportions to give Eric the chance to star in his own love story.

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These are the epic adventures of Kid Christmas! The unthinkable has happened: the Jolly Old Elf himself keeled over, and the Committee to Oversee the Christening of Kringle (COCK) had to find a replacement. Enter the Kid: a lot more fit, a little less clumsy, and quite a sight in that tight red uniform. His mission to deliver Christmas around the world is threatened as he fights the evil Snow Globes, but all is not lost as he escapes traps, finds love (and more love, and more love) with Johnny Longjohns, and stops at a disco on his quest to reclaim his magic sled, the Claus 3000. Hold on tight: this humorous romp may have you spitting your eggnog!

This novella includes the previously released short story Kid Christmas Meets Snow Globes and the original three graphic images by Absolutbleu plus 10,000 words of new erotic adventures and 4 new Absolutbleu illustrations.

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Suburbilicious

SubSurdity Series | Book Two

Sequel to SubSurdity
SubSurdity: Book Two

Take another turn down Jasper Lane, the well-off neighborhood where gay porn parties, fresh cheesecake, and friendly busybodies welcome newcomers while a dog named Gayhound helps with the landscaping.

Cassie Bloom is thrilled her son Jason is home, but she's worried about the secrets buried around the house, especially when a scary-looking stranger starts spying on her! Rick and James are basking in the blush of love—or is it the flush of jealousy as Rick's rugby teammate starts hanging around?—and the flamboyantly gay Terrence is off bonding with his newly discovered son, Christian. Melinda, divorced from her stuffy husband, is looking to dip her toe in the dating pool, but she's got one problem: her potential date's embarrassing last name.

Steve and Sandy Jones are now proud parents, but Sandy's got to find something to do with herself, and running for office in the Gay Porn Wives Club may be just the ticket. And remember, it's a do-unto-others mentality on Jasper Lane, so when lesbian couple Asha and Keiko move in and Sandy helps Keiko get a directing job at Steve's gay porn film company, it's par for the course!

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SubSurdity

SubSurdity Series | Book One

SubSurdity: Book One

Jasper Lane is a well-off neighborhood, not much different in appearance than most, with a tree-lined drive, manicured lawns, and crystal clear ponds. But underneath the pleasantry, a completely different world lurks.

Cassie Bloom, the grand dame of Jasper Lane, has a missing son and husband and throws gay porn parties that are the social events of the year. Her best friend, a transsexual named Vera, owns a nightclub. Melinda Gold is the resident religious fanatic whose views clash with that of her son Patrick. Sandy and Steve Jones are the stereotypical all-American couple (except Steve acts in gay-for-pay porn unbeknownst to his pregnant wife).

Rick Cooper just moved in, and despite his qualms about another relationship (having literally lost an eye in the previous one), he falls for ex-soldier, James. And David and Cliff are the most “normal” couple on the block... never mind that David helped Cassie with some past nefarious deed and that Cliff is the biggest gay porn star in the biz. Throw a dog named Gayhound and a dead body into the mix, and Jasper Lane may just be the gayest neighborhood in town!

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