I was eighteen and a virgin. He was thirty-five and definitely not a virgin. I was skinny, with white, pale skin and no man-made changes to my body. He was muscular with dark, tanned skin. Both of his arms were full of tattoos. More ink was on his pecs and back. Both nipples were pierced, as was his right ear as well as his tongue.
I could taste metal when he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I didn’t like the metallic flavor, but I loved the feel of his lips against mine. His unshaven face brushed against my baby-soft skin.
We were lip-to-lip, chest-to-chest, and cock-to-cock. I wasn’t sure what to do with my hands, so they hung at my side. He had one hand on the back of my head and the other on my ass. Both hands pulled me closer to him. As if I needed him to keep me close to him; I was drawn to him like a magnet.
I’d been drawn to him since I first saw him at the bar—a gay bar. I’d known I was gay since I was sixteen. I’d suspected before then, but by sixteen, I was one-hundred-percent positive. Women did nothing for me, and I couldn’t keep my eyes off of guys. I had participated in several circle jerks with buddies but had never gone beyond that.
I didn’t want my first time with a guy to be fearful and nervous with neither one of us knowing what to do or how to do it. That’s why I went to The Pumping Station—the gay bar. That’s why I went to him. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of him from the minute I saw him. He was shirtless with a pair of tight black jeans. I eyed him for almost an hour before I approached him. In that hour he had gone out on the dance floor with more than one guy. He had groped and strutted with them all, but never more than that.
I finally gathered the courage to approach him and was straightforward with him from the beginning. “I’m a virgin. I think I want that to change tonight. I want someone to fuck me, but I also want to be shown what to do. I might get nervous, and I need someone who won’t get angry if I say stop.”
He looked at me but didn’t say a word, so I went on. “No names. No feelings. When it’s over, we say goodbye and never see each other again. We both get something out of the deal.”
He kept staring at me without saying a word. I got nervous and looked away, certain he was going to turn me down. A rejection at that point would’ve been disastrous. It took all the courage I had to approach him. I knew I didn’t have any more bravery in me, and I would be done for the night.